I hope I know what Im doing....Coz I feel Lost

The rain on London streets shimers on the road. Its quite beautyful, and no im not a tourist guide trying to sell you a ticket to london. My London today was quite grey. There were clouds every where and it was raining like someone was sqeezing the clouds. But even in this weather I managed to smile....why? Because my London was finally glowing. I dont care what others think, London was always ment to be cold in winter n quite hot in summer. This year was different, it was really hot this summer. And even with all the sun we got, I couldn't see London glow. But now with the rain and the grey, dark cloudes...My London finally shines and glows like old times.

Its hard getting over a messy break up. Theres no right or wrong answers. You can always drown your sorrows with a drink or four. But nevertheless it will be hard to carry on as before. Facing what you do everyday kinda becomes a chore. Going to work when everyone knows what happens isnt really nice. But its not like Im the only one whose gone through a messy break up. So when people stare I really wonder what they are thinking. Coz if they have NEVER gone through a break up then I feel sorry for them. Coz how else are you ment to learn without having your heart broken and made it feel like its be stabed a hundred times by your lover. That feeling, even though its a horrible feeling, everyone needs to go through it once. Its makes you stronger. It shows who your real friends are, when your friends are still awake with you late at night trying to make you feel better..

Its strange, I have gone through so much in my life yet this break up feels so hard to get over. I have tried many methods to get over the whole thing. Iv gone out with friends, got a whole new outfit, spent my cash like I was a Hilton child... and yet I feel like I have made no progress. I feel the same as I did when I found out it was over. I'm trying so hard to think of work, trying to be career orientated... but I cant. Coz thats where I met him. I need a break. I want everything to be back to normal....when I had a crush on him but didnt want to take it further.

A friend of mine told me once, that there is never a correct way to get over a person... so you just have to bite the bullet, take it cold turkey and face the facts. Its a theory of his... And I guess its probably the best thing to do.

Im still young. So I guess I should stop worrying about him and carry on with my life............ but where do I begin?????

Time to go away.... Time to run.
Its time for me to grow.... I think now its the time for you to know.
I bleed too,
I cry too,
I hurt too,
I need you.