Tuesday, May 09, 2006
fairytales...
Does it hurt when you say goodbye? Does it pain for you to smile? Does it still bring tears to your eyes thinking about it?
I was taking a walk when I ran into my ex. We were together for 3 years and I loved him so much. We first met over dinner in someones house. To me it felt like a fairytale. He just didnt want to be tied down so quickly. Three years aint quick... But I didnt want to force myself on to him and so I let him go. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought that like fairytales, il still have my "happy ever after" with him. He might see sence and come back. But I saw sence and moved on. I thought I did, I thought after so long I had actully moved on. I no longer wanted to be with him and I had started dating other men. I even had some meaningful relationships with some men.
I saw him today... with his wife. He had obviously moved on!!! and moved far away from me. I dont want him back... my heart cant take the heart-ache anymore but just to see him... MARRIED!
Of all things in this world... of all the bad things that I have seen, I saw him MARRIED! That pain is just too much. How can you feel ok one point then have everything you believed in chucked back at your face. All my thought were of... why? why her? why not me? why now? why not then?
I know I dont want him back, coz that ship has sailed... But im still upset. And for the first time in my life, no amount of alcohol will fix this.
And no amount of humour would make me forget.
I feel upset... but not coz he aint mine anymore, or that he moved on, or that he's married, im upset coz that girl who loved him so much, that girl whos heart he broke along time ago, has finally realised that a fairytale would never come true.
I guess it was never ment to be.
I was taking a walk when I ran into my ex. We were together for 3 years and I loved him so much. We first met over dinner in someones house. To me it felt like a fairytale. He just didnt want to be tied down so quickly. Three years aint quick... But I didnt want to force myself on to him and so I let him go. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought that like fairytales, il still have my "happy ever after" with him. He might see sence and come back. But I saw sence and moved on. I thought I did, I thought after so long I had actully moved on. I no longer wanted to be with him and I had started dating other men. I even had some meaningful relationships with some men.
I saw him today... with his wife. He had obviously moved on!!! and moved far away from me. I dont want him back... my heart cant take the heart-ache anymore but just to see him... MARRIED!
Of all things in this world... of all the bad things that I have seen, I saw him MARRIED! That pain is just too much. How can you feel ok one point then have everything you believed in chucked back at your face. All my thought were of... why? why her? why not me? why now? why not then?
I know I dont want him back, coz that ship has sailed... But im still upset. And for the first time in my life, no amount of alcohol will fix this.
And no amount of humour would make me forget.
I feel upset... but not coz he aint mine anymore, or that he moved on, or that he's married, im upset coz that girl who loved him so much, that girl whos heart he broke along time ago, has finally realised that a fairytale would never come true.
I guess it was never ment to be.
# posted by Ice.Fire : Tuesday, May 09, 2006
