Monday, September 18, 2006
Lost
It now become a bad habbit. I seem to never update this blog of mine. Its a very bad habit I know but it looks like it gonna stick.
A lot has happened since I last updated. Me and The Man broke up. Yes, my lover is no longer with me.
Now I am pretty sure that you all know I love fairy tales. When I was young I hoped my life would be like one, obviously the reality is far from it. Now this got me thinking. I am in love with the "Cinderella" story. And I always wondered whether my prince would ever come on a white horse and save me from this crule world. I dont have a step mother or even two sisters, my life from this story is very lonely. But I do have friends who intends on rulling my life, (coz according to them im only in a relationship so I can watch it fall apart) and I also have some collegues who seem to think I can handle the work they load on me.
My prince did come and went. He didnt ask me to try on any shoes or even asked what my shoe size was. He came to my life as a handsome stranger and left a mark on my heart that could never be removed. I loved and lost..... again.
Its happened to me way too many times now. I have lost hope in ever finding my perfect match. It seems that my life in this world is ment to be spent alone. But when I think this thought I seem to have a little voice within me saying that maybe im just finding the wrong frogs and the right one is going through the same problem as me. But its getting so hard now. I didnt want my relationship with The Man to end this way, but it did.
I wondered last Friday whether I should go and find him. Whether I should admit I was wrong. Theres too many thoguhts. All contradicting each other. I have no longer have any guidence which i can depend on. I now have many paths in front of me and no guideing inner voice.
Many questions and no answers.
A lot has happened since I last updated. Me and The Man broke up. Yes, my lover is no longer with me.
Now I am pretty sure that you all know I love fairy tales. When I was young I hoped my life would be like one, obviously the reality is far from it. Now this got me thinking. I am in love with the "Cinderella" story. And I always wondered whether my prince would ever come on a white horse and save me from this crule world. I dont have a step mother or even two sisters, my life from this story is very lonely. But I do have friends who intends on rulling my life, (coz according to them im only in a relationship so I can watch it fall apart) and I also have some collegues who seem to think I can handle the work they load on me.
My prince did come and went. He didnt ask me to try on any shoes or even asked what my shoe size was. He came to my life as a handsome stranger and left a mark on my heart that could never be removed. I loved and lost..... again.
Its happened to me way too many times now. I have lost hope in ever finding my perfect match. It seems that my life in this world is ment to be spent alone. But when I think this thought I seem to have a little voice within me saying that maybe im just finding the wrong frogs and the right one is going through the same problem as me. But its getting so hard now. I didnt want my relationship with The Man to end this way, but it did.
I wondered last Friday whether I should go and find him. Whether I should admit I was wrong. Theres too many thoguhts. All contradicting each other. I have no longer have any guidence which i can depend on. I now have many paths in front of me and no guideing inner voice.
Do I go to him?
Should I admit I was wrong?
Would I have second thoughts again if we do get back together?
Am I still too young for all these feelings?
Am I immature for a proper relationship?
Should I leave it for fate to handle my love life?
Should I wait for my fairytale to start?
Has it already started?
Should I call him?
Should I visit him?
Should I leave it and move on?
Many questions and no answers.
# posted by Ice.Fire : Monday, September 18, 2006
